Here’s what not to do when making tea eggs. Do not:
1. Go to law school, and in your first year, get really stressed and sleep-deprived, then decide to destress by making them in your communal kitchen that is down the hallway and through some locked doors from your dorm room.
2. Make them in your faraway communal kitchen, at night, when you are tired and sleep-deprived, and then think it is a good idea to leave them unattended while they simmer for a few hours. No biggie.
3. Go back to your room.
4. Fall asleep.
5. Until the next morning.
But at that point, definitely do:
1. Wake up freaking out and tear through the dorms like a bat out of hell thinking that you have burned an entire dorm to the ground.
2. Discover that some angel did take them off the heat and turn the stove off.
3. But not before every egg in the pot exploded and turned a charred, angry black. (Yep, they exploded.)
4. And then drop the pot hastily when someone else walks in and comments, “Ew, who did that?” And be like, “Yeah seriously, how gross.”
5. Scrub the pot with no witnesses in the dead of night and never own up to it until you start a blog four years later.
(But seriously, it was super irresponsible. Be safe!)